Sharing My Life with God
‘My soul is like a house, small for you to enter, but I pray for you to enlarge it. It is in ruins, but I ask you to remake it. It contains much that you will not wish to see; this I know and do not hide. But who is to rid it of these things? There is no one but you…’ ~a prayer of Augustine from his Confessions
I have been reading a short passage from Augustine’s Confessions each day after my Bible reading. It has been a real help to me in getting back to where I want to be, spiritually speaking.
It’s a funny thing about my relationship with God. When I walk away from Him, I am miserable….but for some stupid reason, I’m blind to the source of my misery. I get focused on me….and I have less joy. I get focused on what I want…and I’m less happy.
Then I wake up one day and think, ‘Where am I?’. More importantly, ‘Where is God?’! and I try to claw my way back….was it this hard before? I start praying but I feel like I’m talking to the wall. People ask me for encouragement from the scriptures and I’ve got nothing. ‘Why is this happening to me!?!!!?!’ So days go by….feel like nothing is happening.
Then I realize….I’m not letting God in. I’m praying…but I’m really just trying to tell God what to do. I’m still so full of myself that there is no room for my Father. I lower my head in shame. I pray something along the lines of Augustine’s prayer above…just not nearly so eloquent. Now we’re back…I can talk to Him whenever I want. I see His hand everywhere I go. I want to share everything with Him.
I remember that I never wanted my life to be all about me…and I’m full of joy! What is your life all about? Where is your focus?
I hope that you continue to grow in your relationship with God…and I hope you have a good week!
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A very good insight into the ebb and flow of knowing God’s presence. I could really connect with the statement of “trying to tell God what to do” rather than just being with him and letting him be with me. Prayer should be like windows opening and staying open, yes. Thank you.
[…] Life in Christ brings us Sharing My Life with God. I suspect many of us will relate. We walk away from God, feel miserable, and just can’t […]
Thanks for the post Ed. “Telling God what to do”…I feel sometimes that I need to write my prayers out to stay away from this attitude with God while praying. Reading what Augustine or what someone else has written helps as well. Thanks Ed!
His thoughts are not out thoughts….His ways are not our ways…..Isn’t that a breath of fresh air!