My Story

I became a Christian when I was in my mid twenties. I grew up in a Christian home but I rejected the things I was taught and did not believe in God. I was sure there was a great life out there for me somewhere that had nothing to do with a bunch of rules! I wanted to be free but I felt like God was trying to restrict me and ruin my life.

So I went out and lived exactly the way I wanted to! I began drinking and doing drugs. I went to clubs almost every night of the week and spent whatever extra money I had on going to concerts. It was great! I was really popular and happy and absolutely positive that this was what life was all about.

As time passed, things started happening that weren’t so great. While in high school one of my good friends died driving home from a party we were both at. He had been drinking a lot and I knew he shouldn’t drive but he did. But I was sure nothing like that would happen to me. Two years later, while I was in Uni, I heard that one of my good friends from back home had died of an overdose. Later that year one of my other friends from home had committed suicide. Looking back, I can’t believe that these events were not more disturbing to me. In truth, at the time, they meant very little to me. I was sad to lose my friends, but it never occurred to me that the lifestyle we were living had much to do with it. I mean, I was still having a good time. I knew I was still living a free life.

Fastforward a couple of more years and things definitely weren’t great anymore. I would wake up every morning feeling terrible. I would get blinding headaches and I pretty much felt sick all of the time. I was taking drugs and drinking, not because they were fun, but because I needed to so that I could feel better for a little while. The worst part was that I was going nowhere! I looked around and realized that it had been over five years since I had moved away from home and I had nothing to show for it. Each day just bled into the next. I had no sense of purpose or happiness. I had few real friends. I was not happy, but I had no one to turn to and couldn’t see anyway out. I was a slave.

So I decided to change. No I didn’t “find Jesus” or “have the Spirit enter my heart” or anything like that! I just woke up one Saturday morning and realized that I didn’t want this life anymore. It had seemed like such a great idea at the beginning but I had learned that it was a dead end. From that morning, I quit doing drugs and drinking alcohol. It was really hard at first, but I stuck with it and my life got better. I felt better after the first couple of weeks, I had more money, and I was doing better at work. But still there was something missing. My life went along like this for awhile, but I had no direction. More than that, I was bored!

I started thinking that there must be something more to life than this. I had some friends that were Buddhists so I went with them to the Meditation center. I had another friend that was Catholic so I went to mass with her. These places made me feel good. There was no clear feeling, just a sense of peace and the idea that I had done something good. Around this time I began to read my Bible. I knew some about the Bible because my parents had taken me to church as I was growing up. But this time the Bible had changed! I didn’t see a bunch of rules. I saw the direction that was missing in my life. God had a purpose for me, if I just had the courage to live it.

Then one day as I was reading through John I came across John 10:10. “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and they may have it more abundantly.” It was all so clear! I was so sure that God was trying to limit my life and that if I could just do what I wanted, I would be free. But I had been a fool. Living a life that was only about me was a dead end. Christ gave me the chance I was looking for! A chance to be free and have an abundant life.

I began to visit churches around where I lived. It seemed to me that they were full of good people, but that they didn’t always do what the Bible said. I eventually found a group that followed the Bible, and only the Bible. I felt like this was really important, because I knew that I wasn’t smarter than God, and I was pretty sure no one else was either. After worshiping with this group for about three months, I was baptized in Christ. It was the greatest day of my life! As I came up out of the water I had such a feeling of peace and belonging. I felt free from having to worry what others thought of me. I felt free from the pain and slavery of substance abuse. I felt free from the shame and guilt of my past.

I felt free.